2004-04-14 - 12:47 a.m.
Wow, so much in such little space.
I hurt my knee, somehow, unknown to me. But that is healing and may require surgery.
I have left Brian. We are no longer together, for reasons that will be listed. But first. There are two gay guys that live beneath my apartment, in 2-D. One of them I was getting close to and am sorta close to him. We had a talk about not being in relationships and such and a friend of mine warned me that he plays people and works in the shadows. I see that now. I went to get my keys that I left in his room and I found the two boys, clothed, but in a suspicious situation. I of course get my keys and leave with no incident. But on my way out I started to wonder and still do, was she telling the truth. Is he playing in the shadows. If he is, then so be it. I am not getting involved with him. But for someone it still hurts me that he would do this. I have falling into liking him and it appears there is no reason to. More on this later.
I only want friends that I can be with in the aspect of friends. No sex. Just companionship, maybe he will be that type, maybe not.
Brian and I have split. For far too long I have been trying to leave, trying to escape and now I have. I am slowly getting the life I want and that may not include a boyfriend at this time, the only thing I fear is wanting when I am ready, what is there is no one suitable enough......
Back to Brian, we have so many problems for so long .............in a last minute decision...I'm going to cali. Be back soon
